Togetherness Is Easy...Until It Isn't

I saw a shirt in a local coffee shop that said #BetterTogether across the back.

And I believe that. I really do.

Unity. Community. Togetherness.
These are all better than isolation, division, or just going it alone.

But, full disclosure, my circle is small.
Not because I don’t care about people, but because trust is hard sometimes.

I believe in community, but I don’t always fully embrace it.
There are moments I hold back.

Because being #BetterTogether sounds nice…
Until someone challenges our opinion, our politics, our preferences, or even our parenting.
Then, suddenly, it’s #BetterApart, or #BetterQuiet, or #BetterGone.

Because togetherness isn’t just about gathering.
It’s about growing.

And that requires humility.

It means admitting we don’t have it all figured out.
It means being open to change, not just in others, but in ourselves.
And that’s a lot harder than wearing a shirt with a hashtag on the back.

Too many times, we default to living more like
#BetterIfYouThinkLikeMe
or
#BetterIfYouDon’tChallengeMe.

Or maybe that's just me.

But I’m learning.

Like Bob Goff says, "We're all rough drafts of the people we're still becoming." *

So here’s what I’m trying to practice—not because I’ve mastered it, but because I need it: (and I invite you to join me)

• Listening longer than I talk. Especially when someone sees the world differently than I do.

• Asking questions instead of making assumptions. “What shaped that for you?” goes further than, “Here’s why I’m right.”

• Leaning in, even when I want to pull back. Choosing to stay curious, not just comfortable.

Because I still believe that together is better.
Not easier. Not neater.
But better—for the kind of person I want to become.
And for the kind of world we’re trying to build.

We are #BetterTogether
But only if we're brave enough to be changed by it.

*Goff, B. (2018). Everybody, always: Becoming love in a world full of setbacks and difficult people. Thomas Nelson.