The Ordinary Impact

My dad died in 2024.  And the more I look back, the easier it is to name the things I wish had been different:  The words I needed. The warmth I wanted. The ways I tell myself I’ll do better.  It’s something we do too often—not just with our parents, but with people in general.  We point out the things that weren’t:  The words we didn’t hear. The moments we didn’t get. The love that didn’t look how we hoped.  It’s easy to name the absence.  Harder—but more honest—is choosing to remember what was . Because what was —was his presence.  He came home from work. Every day. Dinner at the table. TV in the living room. Not always deep conversation. Not always praise or tenderness.  But he was there. And that presence—that rhythm of just being —formed something steady in me. I’ve come to believe that some of the most important things a father gives you are the things he never says out loud.  Not always through grand gestures—but in the ordinary...

I’ve heard people say that life should be lived unapologetically. People should be unapologetically themselves. “Be unapologetically you.” Thinking about that piece of advice (or lifestyle choice), I can’t help but wonder if that is true? As I think it through, I feel the need to dispel the misconceptions: It does not mean that a person can do whatever they want to another person without the need for an apology. It does not mean that a person should live a life without concern for the well-being of the world around them (and the people within that world). It does not mean that a person should be content to live a life in a manner that is less than what they are capable. I have seen, all too often, people choose to follow a trend or try to fit into the crowd rather than living their life. I have seen women choose to be subservient because the “social norms” of their region of the country pressured them. I have seen diverse groups of people made to feel far inferior because...

I recently read a quote attributed to Seth Rogen: “So many people paid to watch the Mayweather v McGregor Fight.  Imagine if everybody paid to build up their communities or help people in need.” That quote got me thinking about how we respond to the needs of people around us so I put the quote on Instagram with the words “Great thought, @sethrogen. Can we make it happen?” From that post I was correctly reminded that our communities are funded by tax dollars so, in essence, when we pay taxes we are building up our communities and helping people in need. But shouldn’t we take it a step further, at the very least?  Shouldn’t we be teaching our children and our children’s children the importance of giving (and being generous)? In my opinion, giving is a noble act. I’ve been known to say that generosity and giving to others is the right thing to do. As humans, we should be looking for opportunities to give, and taking those opportunities when they present themselve...

Recently, I read about an economic theory called Greater Fool Theory . The theory states that the price of an object is determined not by its intrinsic value, but rather by irrational beliefs and expectations of market participants . In other words, when something has a value there may be other people who believe it has a greater value and choose to pay the greater price. These people are called Greater Fools . There are many uses and examples, of this theory, in the economic arena; but my mind drifts to examples outside of economics. America’s Founding Fathers, believed in a greater value for a nation free from British rule so they chose to pay a high price for it. Human rights leaders, believed in a greater value for the equality/equity of human-kind so they chose to pay a high price for it. Inventors and innovators have always believed in a greater value for their ideas so they have been willing to pay a high price for it. So many people have chosen to be Greater...

From a young age, love just seemed like a natural feeling. I felt love for people until, whether implicitly or explicitly, people let me know that love might not need to be as open as I naturally believed it to be.Children love naturally. In fact, they love and trust so naturally that they need to be taught to be cautious about a stranger trying to give them free candy. We don’t teach people how to love because love comes naturally. However, we demonstrate how to love deeply, and we most certainly exemplify how to withhold love. And learning to withhold love is dangerous.  I’ve heard people use hateful words, (racially insensitive words, words that objectify women) and excuse them away because “they were raised in a different time.” Our hearts get trained to hate and to exclude and to accept injustice. On October 1, 1995, Nelson Mandela referenced this idea in a speech on the nature of love and hate: “ No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, ...

In a previous post (July 12, 2018), I wrote about  The Butler Way   which consists of five principles of the  Butler Bulldogs  basketball team. (Note: Brad Stevens, former coach and current coach of the  Boston Celtics , added a sixth principle to the list.) These principles have been credited for Butler achieving above expectations on the basketball court, but they also could have the ability to guide the lives of individuals who desire growth off the basketball court. The second principle from The Butler Way  is passion. Most people define passion as a    strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something . Butler defines people who live with passion as individuals who refuse to be lukewarm and who commit themselves to excellence . To be fully invested to an idea or task, while committing to excellence seems more fitting to the word passion then just a strong feeling or excitement for something. A ...

I’ve always been fascinated by  Superman . An individual sent to earth to save humanity truly makes for a great story. Beyond that, he was faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. In 1933,  Jerry Siegel  and  Jon Shuster  created Superman, while they were still in high school. They used him to fight for truth, justice, and the American way; and throughout their early stories, those three ideals were inseparable. Superman was the first superhero; (Note:  Mandrake the Magician  was technically the first superhero, but Superman has widely surpassed Mandrake’s popularity.) and he has a massive difference compared to all of the other “superheroes.” Peter Parker is Spider-Man, and he dresses in a costume to be Spider-Man. Tony Stark is Ironman, and he dresses in a metal suit to be Ironman. Bruce Wayne is Batman, and he dresses in a costume to be Batman. T’Challa is Black Panth...

I remember sitting in the passenger seat, while my friend talked to me about performance and value. He eloquently explained that society helps us believe that our performance equals our value, but that thought is inherently wrong (and most definitely problematic). As I listened to him intently, his words clicked with me. I think I had believed this idea for a long time; but as he weaved his narrative around the idea, I passionately grasped onto his message. Performance does not equal value. That sounds crazy. It sounds backwards.  Businesses, organizations, churches, even friends seem to put a premium on performance. If a person’s performance isn’t up to the arbitrary line (set by whoever decides the arbitrary performance line), then the person/employee/friend ceases to be valuable. There’s a problem in believing that performance equals value: it doesn’t account for the fact that every human has value regardless of their performance. All too often people (and people g...

It is difficult to breathe in  Colorado . The elevation seems to have that effect. One  website  described it as the air pressure outside being lower than the air pressure in a person’s lungs, which makes it difficult to breathe (among other things). I’ve experienced it. Running through the mountains - with no one else around - I felt shortness of breath, and after trying to push through it (like I’ve been known to do), I relented and walked for a bit. Hiking in the mountains had a similar effect. While running (and hiking) with my five year old, I experienced a different feeling. My attention was given to his breathing and his success, and I didn’t notice that I had a problem breathing. Sure, I was moving at a slower pace, but there is something to the idea of helping someone else succeed rather than being self-focused. In social-psychology it is called  moral elevation  (or sometimes just elevation). It’s been studied in detail within the past thirty ye...

What makes a day a day bad? Is it a series of events not going as planned? Is it a tragedy taking place? Is it just one bad moment that proves to be irritating or upsetting? The truth is, people profess to have a bad day quite often. I listened to my son tell me how he was having a terrible day. He described the problem in detail and through tears, and the problem - as he stated it - pointed to a moment of his day not being as fun as he had hoped. I listened to him (and tried to keep my patience), and when he was finished I tried to help him understand that he was just using the wrong words for his situation. It wasn’t a bad day; instead, it was a bad moment. Two things occurred to me during this conversation: How many times do I do the same thing (which may have resulted in my five-year-old copying my response)? How often do bad days really happen? Lois Lowry  wrote an incredible book entitled  The Giver . It was set in a dystopian society, where rules ...

Today, the United States of America celebrates 241 years as an independent country. Our founding fathers did not want to be ruled with an iron fist. They did not want to be dictated to and looked down upon. They desired independence. Freedom. Every year we celebrate that freedom, as we remember the struggle of our founding fathers who were revolutionaries and rebels. We celebrate and remember the loyalty and bravery of so many men and women who fought to defend freedom around the world. We honor the many soldiers who put the lives of others above their own. On October 28, 1886, the Statue of Liberty - designed by Frederic August Bartholdi’s and built by Gustave Eiffel - was dedicated in New York Harbor. Seventeen years later, “ The New Colossus ” poem, written by Emma Lazarus was cast onto the bronze plaque and mounted inside the pedestal’s lower level as a reminder of the liberty offered in the United States of America. “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yea...

The idea of community intrigues me. We long to be individuals who are unique and independent, but in the long-term all of that feels empty. We all are drawn back to a community of people with whom we desire to share our stories. It's as if our memories didn't happen unless we share them. Social media has become irreplaceable and addictive today because it meets a need in all of us for community. I hear the naysayers (like myself) already: "Social media is not really community. Community is face-to-face connection, which what a generation of young people are missing." However, at it's very best, we use to to connect and stay in contact with a community of people. Essentially, we are able to shrink the world and use social media to be more inclusive and embracing of a community of people that we cannot regularly connect with face-to-face. We need community. We are drawn to it because we are wired for it. Family. Friends. Connection. Communication. Community. ...

From 1994-1998,  Sprite  sales skyrocketed. This increase in sales coincided with a two-pronged decision in their marketing campaign. In 1994, Sprite ended their upbeat ad campaign “ I Like the Sprite in You ,” and they began their new ad campaign with the slogan “ Image is Nothing. Thirst is Everything.  Obey Your Thirst .” Recently Sprite has focused specifically on the “Obey Your Thirst” part of the slogan, in my opinion, because our culture is driven by image. In general, we are suffering through plague of unhappiness. We long to be happy. We play hide-and-seek with it, but it seems elusive to us. It seems deeply hidden and, at times, unattainable.  Shawn Achor  emphasizes in his books that happiness is a choice. We can choose it, yet all too often we grasp at it and come up empty. I think it stems from the fact that each of us - at our very core - need to be known and loved; however, in our image-driven, social media-focused culture we settle for bei...